My name is Enryu- it is a name I have given unto myself.
It means the One who travels like Fire, because like Fire I must become. This is because my current existence is in the great Abyss, that entrenched dark. It is a prison for the most sinful at heart. Of the crime I have allegedly committed, I have no memories. It has vanished, along with most of my abilities. These recollections that I have gathered and have to offer, I did upon waking in the deep Dark. Although it seems about myself I cannot recollect much sentiments, I have been able to recover information about the world at Large. They come to me in restless dreams, and most days I am dreaming anyway. However, most times upon waking the memories would just fade away.
There isn't much to do in this prison. When I woke up, I saw a great blue light and I drifted to it, but it seems there is an upper barrier, a limit beyond which I cannot surpass. It was on the edge of that boundary that I remained transfixed upon the Light on High on the overpass. I realised the great light grew and diminished with regards to structure and order. The movement of an entire cycle I called them days, and with that frame of reference I stayed in a trance for an hour.
I remained transfixed first in admiration, then in a meditative haze. It was also the only place that I could remain still at without having to actively anchor or position myself. It seems that I am able to breathe with ease, even though there is nothing but the deep dark waters around me.
It was then that I asked myself-
"How am I able to tell that I was anything more than this? Are these what I have always known- retrenched memories- or were they home grown sentiments, nascent feelings?"
Unexplainably then, I could tell without a shadow of doubt that I was not usually able to dwell in water like I do now, and I could also tell that I was in the great deep Abyss as a prisoner, and I knew also of the language that I thought of and knew the terms by which within resided in my thoughts. Hence, this was proof that someone somewhere out there taught me these things, such that we might be able to understand each other- but it seems that great love had gone out of hand, for even through that great bond, at the very bottom of the Ocean,, I stand in deep Water.So once again I find myself transfixed at that otherworldly beauty, thinking of what all the world has and had to offer. That I had found myself having betrayed the world, and forsaken the great faith of my once Lover. That I have ended up at the bottom of such a destitute place. I remain here as an anchor and a testament, that I did not even deserve to know knowledge's face.
For all I know, this light shining on me is one of my captor. Ensuring I remain transfixed in place and a danger to anyone no longer.
But this was an easily dispelled notion, noting that before this light- my idle thoughts came to no fruition, nothing to stand beside. It was empty, and I did not even know where stood the stars above me, the divinities in the sky. Now I had time, structure, and even some knowledge of "Who was I?". Would not but a benevolent force give unto me this grace? How can I be resentful if I do not even know my own place? So I gazed at that blue light, called it the Cognizant Moon, and established its domain up above with the stars high in the sky.
It was in this wretched state and the recognition of my wretched fate, that I hereby resolved to start all over- to stop calling myself "Tsai". By giving myself first and foremost a new name, by which I was called by by no other, I hoped it may begin the redemption of my betrayed Lover. With the knowledge bestowed upon me by the Cognizant Moon, and the name of the Greatest Bearer of Fire in the Sky. Such that I might move like a serpent upon these waters and burn with such glory I could threaten to usurp the other great light in the great Outside. Such that they had no choice but to source out my light and put me up in the final prison to die.
That I might shine instead of the Sun, up above in the Infinity on High.